


Ancient Demonic Sentient Beings That Might Be Immortal (But Not My Immortal)

by violetnight



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, Satire, a fix it because Lexa is alive!, everything else is the same shit different day, gotta keep the staus quo yo, implied racism, justice for some, not for others, some a/b/o stuff because that's almost the point of everything but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 11:00:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11378814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violetnight/pseuds/violetnight
Summary: Who cares about justice? Who cares about anything when there are pheromones?Not Lexa, who loses her damn mind when Clarke is near!Featuring:Abby Griffin kom Skaikru who just says ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ from afar and isn't even in thisCharles Pike who says "Grrr!" and "Rat a tat tat" with the help of a fayogon and some other people (including Bellamy Blake)Octavia Blake who is The Most Dangerous AssassinAnd everyone's fave, Bellamy Blake who just does whatever the hell he wants!





	Ancient Demonic Sentient Beings That Might Be Immortal (But Not My Immortal)

**Author's Note:**

> Just felt really inspired by another story. So here is some complete trash with really shitty sex in the middle and some racism at the end. 
> 
> Because a fix it story should always carry on all the the problems of the show it's fixing, especially if that show is written by JRot! Yay!

_Sometime after all the bullshit with Nia_

Lexa, the Heda to end all Hedas, the Alpha to end all Alphas, and Clarke, the only Omega that ever mattered ever, were riding along on their horses, smelling each other and flirting and smiling and waiting for the next opportunity to bang, uninterrupted. Those pheromones were so distracting, Lexa could hardly keep any thought in her head except for the need to fuck.

There was another smell, and then another and another. Decay and rot, fear and distress and anger. A scout came shouting, “Heda!”

Lexa got her horse into a gallop then pulled up and stared in horror at a field of corpses, her warriors, whose bodies were full of bullet holes. But Clarke was somehow near and those pheromones were distracting her again, even more than the smell of dead bodies.

Lexa saw Indra, alive but wounded and bloody, and Lexa shook her head to clear it and moseyed on over to her to ask what happened.

“Bellamy and Pike and some others killed us in our sleep. But Heda, Bellamy let me live, hallowed be his name,” Indra replied.

“But why?” Lexa was confused.

“I was left alive to send a message to you, Heda,” Indra said. “Skaikru says fuck off, basically.”

Lexa was disturbed. “Well, _jok_.” Lexa thought for a moment, and only a moment, because the need to fuck was overpowering. “ _Jus drein_ , _jus daun_ , and etc. You good, Indra? I gotta go knot this one.” Lexa jerked a thumb back at Clarke.

Indra looked on, trying not to die of her injuries while her Heda grabbed Clarke’s hand and dragged her off, away from the decomposing bodies and behind a rock. “Guess so,” she muttered, but Lexa didn’t hear her, or care.

 

***

 

Meanwhile Clarke’s mind was working furiously while she tried not to take in Lexa’s overpowering Alpha scent as she was dragged away. She was down to fuck, but she spared a quick thought for all the Skaikru that were set to be killed in retaliation for the slain warriors.

 _I know exactly what to do!_ Clarke pumped out the pheromones harder than ever and reached to unbutton Lexa’s pants. She looked at Lexa who was drooling then back down at the massive cock that sprang free. “All that for little ole me, Heda?”

Lexa smirked and hiked up Clarke’s clothes. “Yep.” She popped the ‘p’, her eyebrows, and every button of Clarke’s shirt.

Obviously, with pheromones, and being the only Omega that ever mattered, Clarke was instantly slicker than slick. Lexa was harder than hard, and just couldn’t wait. Clarke felt herself being yanked up and then ka pow, in Lexa went. Thrust thrust thrust, some swearing, some shitty sex talk a few flicks of her clit and then Clarke was begging for Lexa’s knot, mind still working away. Pop went the knot, following all the other popping, and then she felt her head getting slammed back into the rock that wasn’t concealing anything at all as her release overtook all thoughts but one: _Save and exonerate Bellamy._

 

 ***

 

Lexa eventually slipped out of Clarke, not paying attention to the mess, suddenly remembering that there was a field of her dead warriors to avenge.

“Oh yeah. Clarke? Skaikru’s fucked.”

Clarke went pale. “But what about everyone who didn’t go along with this?” _What about Bellamy?_ she fretted silently and tried to pump out soothing pheromones.

Lexa smelled the pheromones and ignored them, for a moment. “Eh, what are you gonna do? _Jus drein jus daun_.”

“Well if you ever want a piece of this again,” Clarke pointed between her legs. “Then you better stop that ‘ _jus drein jus daun_ ’ shit when it comes to me and mine.” _Especially Bellamy_ , she didn’t add out loud.

Lexa thought for all of three seconds. “You are absolutely right. _Jus drein nou jus daun_.”

Clarke smiled, triumphant. “I have a plan then, Heda.” Clarke crooked a finger and leaned back against the rock.

“Can you tell me while we fuck it out? And can you do something about the smell of all those dead bodies, it will put me off my stroke.”

“You got it.”

And so it went.

 

***

_Some time later_

 

Lexa emerged with a new plan and wobbly legs. She went to find Indra to inform her that _jus drein nou jus daun_ , and ignored Indra when she brought up justice for the slaughtered warriors.

Lexa pumped out pheromones to remind Indra of just who the fucking Heda was, who the Alpha to end all Alphas was and who wasn’t. Indra sulked but knew her place.

The plan was eventually carried out with minimal danger, a few scares, and Titus was off muttering somewhere, not there to give any more advice to be ignored and seething, baldly.

Finally the people responsible for the massacre were brought, bound with ropes, before a crowd of Lexa’s baying subjects, all of them screaming for blood and justice. Pike was there, Bellamy, some others.

Lexa stood tall and started shouting. “ _Jus drein nou jus daun_!”

The crowd fell silent in shock.

Lexa looked around. “ _Ai laik heda_ and that’s the way it is.” She waved towards Pike’s minions. “You all get the fuck outta here.” She motioned for her guards to cut them loose.

She turned to Bellamy and Pike. “Bellamy, hallowed and sacred son of Skaikru. The Coalition knows that you have never done anything wrong ever, and even in murder, your way is the only way. You should do some yard work or carry a bucket of water or something for the families of those warriors you murdered with that _fayogon_. That will make everything just about square.”

The guards cut his bonds and Bellamy stomped off, complaining that it just wasn’t fair. Clarke rushed to his side to make sure he was okay with that minuscule punishment and assured him that it wouldn’t last long, she’d fuck some sense into Lexa.

Lexa turned to Pike. “Pike, that _jus drein nou jus daun_ stuff doesn’t apply to you. Nope.” Lexa popped the ‘p’ again. “Because your skin is just too dark to see past, you’re gonna have to suffer everything.”

Pike roared and struggled against his bonds. “The fuck?!”

Lexa smiled. “What _Klark kom Skaikru_ wants, _Klark kom Skaikru_ gets, Pike.” Lexa turned to the seething crowd. "I was just fuckin with all of you. _JUS DREIN JUS DAUN_. But only for Pike, the black guy, and then never again! And I get the first cut, as Heda. I’m going to be as brutal as possible and cut off something. I’ll go for... oh, let's see... a hand, maybe.”

Lexa sawed at the hand as Clarke spared a glance from Bellamy’s sulking form. Pike’s screams meant nothing. “Yo, _Okteivia_ , wanna turn?”

Octavia, the Warrior Assassin to end all Warrior Assassins, shrugged and picked up a sword. “Let’s get to cutting!” she squealed.

Pike was cut to pieces in the most grisly fashion imaginable, while Bellamy pouted about the upcoming chores hoping that he'd get Lexa to further kiss his ass soon enough. Bellamy was sure Clarke would fix that for him.

And justice was served!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Trashy trash and justice in the form of brutal murder for anyone who has skin that's just too fucking dark!
> 
> Bellamy Blake can do no wrong 5eva because JRot says so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


End file.
